lazybox | izunia lucis callout

[Yeah, okay, that was one of two reactions he expected. Izunia sighs and debates throwing his pen at Church, just briefly, for being dumb.]

And meanwhile his fully justified paranoia that I'm gathering information to replace him again grows to the size of this rock we're all standing on.

[Come on, Church, surely you're not - actually no you still wouldn't be the stupidest pretty face Ardyn's ever picked up so maybe you are that dumb.]

Because, in the most eloquent manner of speaking, fuck that, Leonard.

[or in other words, yes izunia is correct here]

[Oh, he is absolutely that dumb! He'll probably get even dumber. Just you watch.]

That's fucking stupid.

[He blinks, and stares up at Ardyn, a little incredulous.] You're fucking stupid and beyond paranoid.

[Be grateful you have the one thing Izunia is actually scared of halfway wrapped around you right now, Church, because his pen is twitching badly.

It's strange, in some ways. He hasn't felt this much like 'Izunia' in lifetimes.]

It's not completely irrational, given the circumstances. And I still have enough of his habits ingrained to make things worse.

[If it wasn't a fountain pen he'd probably be clicking it right now. Instead, the end of it taps on the glass counter. The one stress tell he never fully managed to control - Izunia is a fidgeter.]

It's not something I want, but that's the way it is.

[Ardyn's shoulders went rigid, expression very carefully held as something calm enough to be unreadable.]

Fine. [His voice was ice cold, pulling away from Church and turning away towards the door.] Fine. Take his side, see if I care. As if I didn't know this would happen.

[Of course he'd known, in that dark corner of his mind that threatened to take over entirely now; in what 'Ardyn Izunia' had known for two thousand years. Trust was worth nothing, loyalty and compassion nothing but a nice concept spoken of in fairytales.]

I hope you're pleased with yourself, oh Founder King- [and despite everything, Ardyn's voice cracked and faltered midsentence.] -now that you're doing all of this again. Why don't you two just have a nice discussion about how much better you'll be once you're rid of my paranoia.

Wha-

[That's to him. Ardyn's being cold to him. And leaving. Leaving. And, what, and accusing him or liking the brother he's met for all of twenty minutes better? Church's emotions have always been worn directly on his tattered sleeves, confusion, hurt.

It always seemed that, despite half of his memories or more being fake, no matter how much he cared for Tex, no matter how close he imagined they were, he spent more time watching her walk away than anything else. She was always leaving, why did she always leave--]

Don't! [It's a cracked and broken noise of a word, and he practically launches himself at Ardyn.] You dumbass stupid fucking moron, I'm not siding with him, jesus, did you go blind and deaf in your old age?! You want me to kill him for you, I'll do it, I just--I'm trying to figure this out and fix--I'm trying to fix this for you cuz I know it's gotta be killing you!

[Which, in retrospect, was a mistake. He knows his track record in helping.]

[Let Church try to catch up with Ardyn. Izunia has an idea that might be better, might be worse -

The pen goes zinging past both their heads, and Izunia after it, warping into place with his back against the door, solidly in Ardyn's path.

If Ardyn wants the Founder King, he'll get him. There's a set to Izunia's jaw that speaks of the years he spent building a country out of rubble and his own grief, the will of a man who knows exactly what it means to wear the ring around Ardyn's finger.]

Hate me all you like, I've done everything possible to deserve it. But I will not sit back and watch you burn your relationship with anyone else over the things I've done, especially not for something so stupid as a thoughtless comment from someone who loves you.

[Ardyn had frozen at no more than one word from Church; despite everything, despite knowing (in the way paranoid terror wore the mask of objective fact) that he would only be replaced again, knowing only betrayal and expulsion and Gilgamesh's abandonment-]

[...he couldn't take another step away from that voice. Couldn't push him away even though the fear and pain of a hundred thousand betrayals made him sure that pushing him away would be safer. He actively flinched backwards at Izunia warping in front of him, staring at the ground and threading his hands through unnatural violet hair to press against his head.]

Stop it. Shut up, shut up, shut up-

[It didn't even sound like he was talking to them at this point...but to the voice of doubt in his head that shouted it's over, he's the same as Gilgamesh, they'll all be just like Lucis and forget you. Replaceable, worthless, broken savior. No one has any need for a monster when they could have the king standing before you.]

...can't fix it. Too many pieces to assemble, Lucis Caelum and Tenmyouji and Izunia all scattered and thrown together like they can fit into one. Broken, useless, all of it. I can't be salvaged from this. I don't even know who I am, just broken and empty and Astrals, please don't leave me alone again-

[If the rambling made any sense whatsoever, odds were good only Ardyn could really grasp the full meaning of whatever he was trying to express--but the mounting panic was very, very clear all the same.]

[He's seen Ardyn at his worst (no, his brother must have seen him truly at his worst, or Noctis, not him), and even this scares him. It sounds like when his own memories and mind fracturing and fragmenting after a bad night, glass soldier. This scares him, the idea, the possibility of losing him now that he's being confronted with the past that's hurt him so much.

Church came around to his front, hands gently on his face. Solid, grounding, give him ground.]

Ardyn, hey, no. No. I'm not gonna leave you. Never, not ever. This man in front of me, whoever he is, whatever he's become, he's Ardyn, and he loves me. [The first order.] We're both full of--of pieces, trying to figure out who the fuck we are, a-and it's gonna suck, but it's gonna suck for us together, okay? Fuck this guy. We can just leave. We can leave right now. If we can't fix it, we can--we can at least move on, yeah?

[If they want to leave, they can - so long as it's together. Izunia's stance relaxes, and he slides away from the door. Not quite out of line of sight, with the shelves set up the way they are, but out of immediate range.

He doesn't know what he could do here, not without making Ardyn any worse, so he leaves that part to Church, who is a complete idiot but probably knows better what to say than he does. Literally anyone would know better what to say than Izunia, really.

Instead, he leans against the end of a shelving unit and slides down until he's sitting on his ass, knees peaked in front of him, and decides now's as good a time as any to give in to that hyperventilating that's been threatening him for a while.

x2 Lucis Caelum Breakdown Combo]

[Even after all this time, they still managed to be twins in some respects.]

...I'm sorry. [He scrambled to pull together a thousand broken pieces into something half-functional, faltering and all but collapsing against Church's shoulder as he did.] I'm not-...I'm not him. I'm Ardyn, the real one, so don't-...

[...what? 'Don't leave'? 'Don't replace me'? Even Ardyn wasn't sure where he was going with that, and he was too shaken to find out.]

Shhhhhh, hey now. [He's no good as a Shield or a boyfriend if he can't carry his king. He gathers Ardyn against him, nuzzling into his hair, leaving a kiss, a string of kisses, holding fast.

Izunia is also not doing all right, but he doesn't know what to for him. Doesn't care, either.]

You're Ardyn, and you're real, and I love you, and I'm not gonna leave you. Even if I die, I won't leave you, cuz my ghost is gonna haunt your entire ass the rest of your life, you got that?

[Ardyn didn't answer right away, forcing himself to pull the broken shards of whoever he was back together so that they'd hold until the next time something threw them against a wall. He took a deep breath, and when he finally spoke he sounded a little more like his normal human self.]

I know. I'm...sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you, and I'll...I'll try not to again.

[Another breath. Focus, concentrate, he very carefully disentangled himself from Church after a moment and walked over to kneel in front of his twin brother with a coldly critical look on his face.]

...Izunia.

I said something stupid. [He doesn't actually know what.] Just...I'll...

I'll be...over... [He trails off, letting the brothers do their thing since he's screwed up enough today. Looking at the fake-ass swords on the wall. Yep.]

[They're shiny, Church! Very shiny fake swords.

Anyway yeah Izunia is kind of doing the head between his knees thing, trying to get his breathing under control - but at the sound of Ardyn's voice, he lifts it. In fact, he tilts it kind of far back at first, looking up at the ceiling, before looking back down at his brother.

The expression on his face is painfully unguarded, a strange mix of hopelessness and relief.]

...Ardyn.

...I won't forgive you. I still hate you, for...everything. I've lived these past ages knowing you took all that I had and all that I loved, and it's because of you that I still...can't fully bring myself to trust anyone, even now.

I'm not going to kill you. I'm not the monster you tried to destroy or the person you crushed out in the process--I don't really know who I am, anymore.

[He brought a hand to the orange-red scarf loose around his neck-...ah, that's right. This was why...he couldn't bring himself to stop wearing it, wasn't it?]

...But I know that I'm still your brother.

[Slowly, one more time, Izunia inhales... and then exhales.]

I don't seek your forgiveness. I know that what I've done is far beyond it. Even if it wasn't - I'm not the person you remember, either. We're both too damn old and ruined for that.

[And then - it's a risk, but so is everything. For once, Izunia is going to throw himself into the mouth of what he wants. Surely this time, the consequences can't be as damning as the last time he didn't stop to examine every angle, every possibility.

He flings his arms around Ardyn's shoulders and holds him tight.]

But you're my brother, and to see you happy is all I want in the world.

[Ardyn flinched again, as if halfway to pulling back or throwing a punch...but then he stopped and thought about what he was doing for a change, taking an unsteady breath and cautiously putting an arm over his brother's shoulders.]

...I wish I could say 'it's good to see you again', but...well, perhaps there's something to be said for nostalgia.

On the slightly lighter note of my happiness, perhaps I should at least have etiquette enough to introduce you to your future brother-in-law. Damned family tree's a fucking ivy at this point.

[Wait. Future brother-in-law, that's him, right? He doesn't actually...move any closer yet, but he does look over.] Uhhhhhh. Pretty sure I already made my fumbles mcstupid introduction. Thought maybe you got a blue scarf for me.

Hhhhhhi? Church. Uh. Leonard. Leonard Church, uh, soon to be Leonard Lucis Caelum, I think? I think on the name, not I think on the marrying--uh. Yeah.

Yes, he already tried to proposition a threesome, I can only imagine how that would have worked out.

[It's a bit of a helpless laugh as Izunia slides off Ardyn's shoulders, because what else can he do? Some things never change, and Ardyn's lovers making his life incredibly awkward is apparently one of them.]

Marriage, though? You truly have become someone else, if monogamy is anywhere near your future.

...Leonard.

[Because what better way to cover up uncertainty and the exhaustion of retreating panic than with exasperation? Ardyn sighed, straightening up and shaking his head.]

Still, monogamy is certainly a strong word. For both of us, I imagine.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh, call it an open relationship. [Is it okay if he comes back over? He's not sure. So he'll. stay hanging back. for safety for now.] Also, all I said was that two of you was basically a dream come true, okay.

That is, essentially, a proposition. Ware the sudden arrival of dreams, lest they turn into nightmares.

[Which you know that definitely would have been if Izunia was in any way inclined. Great way to die, but he luckily has a sense of self preservation.]

Still, I'm... glad. Beyond glad.

An open relationship in which you are my favorite person out of everyone in all the many varying worlds. [Ardyn walked over to drape his arms over Church's shoulders as if to say 'look at my boyfriend, he's wonderful and perfect and fuck you you can't have him.']

[...He was, after all, still quite spiteful in matters regarding his twin brother.]

My wonderful guard, protector, friend and most perfect if admittedly sometimes stupid and tactless fiancé.

[The whole situation is beyond awkward, and he genuinely would like little more than for the floor to open up and swallow him. But Ardyn is showing him off, so he has to preen.]

You left out hot. My incredibly talented and extremely handsome stupid tactless fiance. But I like 'perfect', that's, that's a good word, yeah.

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