izunia lucis callout

[founderinglight]

you will pry twinzunia from my cold dead hands let's do this

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[motherfucking_ghost]

Okay, but I'm also just saying, the next time I have you tied up...

[founderinglight]

...Something I very much do not need to hear about in any detail, thank you.

[GUYS??? PLEASE NO.]

[scourgingstars]

You never were any fun at all, brother dear.

[motherfucking_ghost]

So you don't want to hear about blindfolds or the way he melts when I lick his scars? [He can ruin both of you at once, he doesn't mind.]

[founderinglight]

I knew about the blindfolds, actually. I am nothing if not dedicated to accuracy.

[Completely deadpan, even knowing that that sentence is probably going to get him murdered later.]

[scourgingstars]

You're lucky you can use that tongue for more than running your mouth like an idiot.

[what's shame]

...I don't know if I should punch you or be mildly impressed at the commitment, brother.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Do you get called Your Majesty in bed, too? Or say all kinds of really nice things about your partner, I wish I could do that effectively, just, uh, kinda can't, though...

[founderinglight]

[Ardyn's comment gets a half laugh and a flourishing bow, complete with Armiger-summoned feathered hat. Better than the reaction he was fearing, really.]

My attention to detail is my only redeeming feature.

[Church you get no information on his sex life at all though sorry man.]

[scourgingstars]

Oh, call me 'Your Majesty' again~

[what are brothers for if not to make each other uncomfortable]

And he's right, there's not much else of interest that wasn't mine first.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Have you paid attention to these fine glutes? [Insert Church grabbing Ardyn's ass here.] Cuz I've paid them a lot of attention. To detail, you could say.

[founderinglight]

[You're both terrible.]

Yes, like most identical twins I have some awareness of what I look like from behind.

...And Ardyn, I was always the better elementalist and you know it.

[scourgingstars]

[the worst]

I didn't have to be good with elemental magic, I could lift a greatsword without my arms threatening to snap like twigs. Unlike some people I know.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Wow, are we having a twin dick measuring contest right now? I can legitimately go grab popcorn, this is sure to be entertaining.

[founderinglight]

[Church, you know what kind of family you're marrying into?

It's the kind of family where Izunia literally just pulls a full sized bucket of popcorn - complete with the logo of the local theater - out of his Armiger and hands it to you without missing a beat.]

You'll need a new response to that one, I can use your sword as well as you now. That was actually slightly more important than being able to pass as you in bed.

[Just slightly.]

[scourgingstars]

Yes, well, we'll see how well you fight with a few dozen other swords in your face.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Holy shit. Holy shit. He takes the popcorn, mouth agape. And then he holds his other hand out to Ardyn wordlessly. Drink, pull out a drink pronto.]

Fuck 'im up, babe.

[founderinglight]

If you recall, that was my trick first. The royal arms I have might not compare to your selection, but I've always done more with less.

[scourgingstars]

And I have oft been compared to a dualhorn in a china shop, as you'll recall.

[here church have a bottle of soda]

Don't provoke me into leveling this quaint little storefront, because we both know I've done worse for less reason.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Yeah, he's just gonna take a step or three back with popcorn and a soda and wait for the show to start.] Hey, if I sold tickets, do you think I'd make some good money? [church stop]

[founderinglight]

If you really want to have at it, I know places that are far less likely to bring authorities down on our heads.

...And if you intend to sell tickets to my demise, I demand a fair cut.

[scourgingstars]

...You're not worth fighting. I should think I'm a little better than constant homicidal rage these days.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You can't get a fair cut, you'll be dead!

Look, if you're not gonna fight him, you want me to fight him?

[founderinglight]

Give it to my part timer.

[On account of the fact that the kid will need another job, like, immediately.]

...It doesn't have to involve homicidal rage, you know.

[Sparring with someone on your own level is a thing, Ardyn. A thing Izunia isn't going to push, but - he does miss it.]

[scourgingstars]

Excuse my fully justified paranoia about being drawn into a 'friendly match' with you of all people. And my fiancé still owes you a punch.

[motherfucking_ghost]

But just a punch? Really, is it just a punch?