izunia lucis callout

[founderinglight]

you will pry twinzunia from my cold dead hands let's do this

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[misanthropicprinciple]

...I mean, is this place worth solving? Or is it one of those, 'the real treasure was the horrific trauma you accumulated all along!' deals.

[Zero Escape is a Fun Puzzle Game! :)]

[founderinglight]

...It's been uninhabited for two thousand years, what do you think?

[They're lucky it's not crawling in daemons like every other ruin from the time period.

...Well mostly Junpei is lucky. Izunia would be fine.]

I'm reasonably sure if there was anything here, Noctis cleaned it out in one of his endless fits of wanderlust and delaying the inevitable.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Oh, then fuck this.

[He toasts the ruins of Pitioss.]

Sayonara, asshole! May two thousand years of sand get clogged in your weirdo magic gears!

[founderinglight]

[Izunia chuckles and packs his half-finished cider, the big magitek lamp, and his hat into his Armiger before standing and offering Junpei a hand.

Hey kid wanna nyoom?]

Not that the scenery outside is much better, but at least Ravatogh isn't so dark. Shall we?

[misanthropicprinciple]

[NYOOM! Junpei is inebriated enough to accept the hand up gladly. He's not a lightweight, but that is the good stuff.]

Shall'st. Also, gesundheit.

[founderinglight]

Gesundwhat?

[Hey guess who doesn't have the fantasy equivalent of that particular German phrase. Instead he'll just pull Junpei a bit closer with that arm, locking it around the lower set of shoulders, and - ]

You may want to close your eyes, the vertigo's bad enough sober.

[ - flips a dagger in his free hand and throws it. OFF THEY MCFUCKIN GO.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Whoa--

[BAMF, here they are. Also BAMFs. Junpei stumbles a little bit, but then just laughs.]

Damn, that is so much more fun when all your emotions work! Whoo!

[Raise! Your! Glass! Or bottle. You do you.]

[founderinglight]

[It actually takes a couple of warps to get them to the entrance, because STUPID PUZZLE DUNGEON CAN'T BE LINEAR, but hey we got this.

Izunia releases Junpei's shoulders as soon as he seems capable of standing on his own, the blue glow around him fading. There's still a streak of it behind them, and an afterimage, that will persist another ten seconds or so.]

...Do I want to know?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Oh, they transferred the fake Starscourge to me for a few days along with the rest of Dad's partially-nerfed powers. So that was fun.

[He shades his eyes with his robot hand and whistles at the scenery.]

Neat.

[founderinglight]

...I probably should not have asked.

[Excuse him for a moment he's not going to look at the scenery he's just gonna -

Junpei you probably didn't intend to edge the man halfway to a panic attack but hey there you go! Izunia presses a hand hard into his chest and takes deep breaths against the pressure.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Junpei watches for a moment before gently offering him the brandy.]

...Sorry?

[founderinglight]

[He shakes his head at the alcohol, at least, not answering until his breathing is under a bit better control.]

It's not your fault that they went pulling on my own personal nightmares.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Guess not. That's a thing they do.

[Though he retracts the offered brandy, he's still keeping an eye on Uncle Shitweasel.]

It wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Lots of things aren't, when they're taken out of context. And Dad was around to watch out for me, too.

[founderinglight]

Every man has his own assortment of terrors. Mine just happen to feature my brother's Scourge to the exclusion of almost everything else.

[misanthropicprinciple]

...You should talk to Church some time. He dealt with it more often, I think. It's just something I went through, I never... got face to face with it.

They made some really tasteless merchandise out of it, though. Little dolls and stuff. I know he bought at least one.

[founderinglight]

[...Okay that? Is so ridiculous it almost swings back around to funny.]

Why would anyone - no. I am absolutely certain I don't want to know.

[Buy him an Ardyn plush though Junpei.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Oh, yeah, you do not want to know what fandom is like these days, old man. People don't change, they just get way more public.

[founderinglight]

I can only imagine.

...And I say that as the identical twin of one of the most popular men in Solheim, so I leave you to figure out the kinds of propositions I got.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Lalala, I don't need to know, I don't need to think about it, I was already sharing an adjoining bathroom with him and Church, thanks.

[He's covering one of his ears. He's real mature.]

[founderinglight]

We understand each other perfectly, then.

[BEST NEPHEW.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[He's Izunia's ONLY nephew.]

I'm pretty sure they didn't do it until after we burned the place to the ground, at least, but still. God. I know way more than I want to, about both of them.

[founderinglight]

[Look you never know where you adopt one there might be more.]

...That's more restraint than he typically possesses. Are you sure he's well?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well, he still thought he was a container for all the world's shadowplague for most of the time till then, so. Don't worry, they're making up for it.

[founderinglight]

Good to know some things don't change...

[misanthropicprinciple]

God, I still can't believe Kip baked them a 'Congrats on the Sex' cake. They don't need encouraging, you useless green alien.