izunia lucis callout

[founderinglight]

you will pry twinzunia from my cold dead hands let's do this

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[scourgingstars]

Do not speak to me of nightmares.

[It was hard not to start shouting again like he had with Gilgamesh, all how could you and why and i thought you cared--but he held it back. He'd had enough of screaming fury for several lifetimes, so while his voice was tense and forceful he scarcely raised it at all.]

You know nothing of the waking horror you condemned me to all these long ages, so do not dare look at me and claim it was you who bore the worst of it.

[founderinglight]

I would never claim that, I only meant -

[Wait, back up a moment. In the breath between being dragged into an argument and thinking, something in Ardyn's words dawns across Izunia's face. Something horrible, like a creeping vine - ]

...I condemned...?

[No. No, surely - Astrals, no.]

[scourgingstars]

Oh, now you think upon it. Had it not even once occurred to you, even in all these long centuries sleeping within the ring, joined by your descendants one after the other?

Did you never once consider that Ardyn Lucis Caelum's will was not so easily crushed out completely? And here I'd believed you thought better of me, brother dear.

[founderinglight]

[No. No this has to be wrong.]

I was told - I never thought you crushed out, I just -

[He's babbling. Stop, start again.

Or stop, attempt to start, get exactly one breath into it, and then have to stop for a second time. One more time, then.]

The Draconian himself told me that there was nothing left. That my own foolish hands had taken my brother's last chance of fighting against the daemon that wore his skin.

[scourgingstars]

Bahamut is a lying bastard, you imbecile!

[That time he couldn't help it, snarling that with a fury that was, thankfully, very human.]

[founderinglight]

[First, a flinch. And then - ]

And how was I to know that?

[ - he was never quite a match for Ardyn's temper, but that didn't mean that Izunia had none.]

Already beside myself with horror and guilt and then one of the gods tells me personally how I've doomed mine own brother - would you have been in any state of mind to question the decree of the divine?

[Probably. Ardyn was always the questioner of authority. The point, as Izunia sees it, stands nonetheless.]

I've no right to ask of you forgiveness but a lick of understanding might not go amiss!

[scourgingstars]

Understanding? Did you give me the slightest understanding when you stabbed me? The one time you failed to think something through, you condemned me to a hell beyond words for two thousand years! I think you're fortunate I'm not testing the limits of this afterlife by trying to send you anywhere else!

[founderinglight]

[Oh, they are certainly doing the yelling, aren't they. So be it.]

And you think I didn't regret that every remaining moment of my life? That I had no concept of what I did, even if certain key details were more horrible than I could ever have imagined?

[scourgingstars]

Good, at least you were still sane enough to care--! Do you have any concept of what this has felt like? What it's like to lose your sense of taste, to be exhausted and unable to sleep, to barely walk in sunlight without feeling something recoil and shriek beneath your skin?!

I-

[Ardyn's voice cracked, fists shaking at his sides.]

...I don't care if you felt regret. I don't want to understand any of it, and I wouldn't forgive you even were I able to.

[founderinglight]

Then why are you here?

[This is stupid. Why did either of them come here, if all they're going to do is hurt each other?

(Because, probably, after two thousand years, neither of them knows much besides hurting.)]

If you hate me so much and so very justifiably, then why did you come? I'd think you'd not want to see my face even in a mirror.

[They look more like mirrors now than they ever did in life, after all. Such is the downside of Izunia living out the last few decades of his life under his brother's name and habits - he can hardly remember what he looked like, himself, before becoming Ardyn.]

[scourgingstars]

Because I wanted to yell at you until I felt less miserable and it isn't even helping!

[...Two thousand years, and he was still incredibly immature in most regards.]

[founderinglight]

[Two thousand years haven't changed a fucking thing, clearly.]

Ardyn, that never helps.

[scourgingstars]

I don't care, Izunia, I've earned the right to be furious with you and you're going to accept that whether you like it or not!

[founderinglight]

[Oh ye gods, he hasn't changed a bit. It's... almost painful, actually.

Almost painful, and also incredibly difficult to not laugh at.]

Well, now I certainly have no doubts that you are my brother. No daemon could ever manage to say something quite so...

[Hand gesture. So very Ardyn.]

[scourgingstars]

I'm so glad you think this is funny-! Is this some manner of joke to you? Tell me, did anyone actually care enough to know the difference between us or was I simply that easy to replace?!

You- [His voice cracked again, strained against something other than Starscourge that burned hot and furious behind his eyes.]

...I hate you. I hate you, and I've not stopped hating you for-...for all these centuries.

[founderinglight]

[And then - nope they're back to yelling.]

You think it was easy? Not all of us have your gift with illusions, Ardyn. I never did manage to convince that damn bird of yours.

[Never convinced her, but did grow fond of her, in some ways. Painful, to think that in the end, the only one who still treated him as Izunia was a chocobo.]

You think I did it on a whim? Rebuilt my entire life to match yours because I wanted to replace you?

[His voice, only slightly raised, falls in volume until it's almost hard to hear.]

I did it because Izunia was an idiot and a fratricide who didn't deserve to be remembered as the Founding King.

[scourgingstars]

Shut up. You think I...you think I want to hear any of what you have to say--

[Ardyn abruptly turned on his heel, hearing his own voice shake and uncertain of what expression he might even be wearing.]

You erased me. You stole my entire life and redacted any trace of a second brother from all record. Am I meant to be grateful for that?

[founderinglight]

I erased myself, you grand fucking fool. You were the one who deserved to be remembered, the one who...

[A shaky breath.]

The one who deserved to have everything. Even if I couldn't make it right among the living, at least I could ensure that history would give you the credit you deserved.

[scourgingstars]

Did I not just tell you to stop talking?! I'm sure that's what helped you sleep at night whilst I was locked in Angelgard, but it's little comfort right now!

[founderinglight]

[Another breath. Ardyn can't see, but Izunia shakes his head.]

No. I'll not stop. Hate me if you will and I'll not blame you a bit, but I will not allow you to go tromping around with some belief that you were not loved.

[scourgingstars]

It's a little fucking late for that.

[founderinglight]

It's the first time in two thousand years that we've spoken, I am doing the best I fucking can here.

[He steps up closer behind Ardyn's back. Somehow his own hands have curled into shaking fists.

He doesn't know yet what he's going to do with them, if he does anything at all.]

I wed and had children and went to my pyre under your name in the hopes that you would know that you were not forgotten, the least you could do is acknowledge that I tried.

[You absolute chocobo's arse. :l]

[scourgingstars]

...

[Ardyn didn't say anything; he opened his mouth to talk, and found a thousand different things simply stuck in his throat.]

[Then, finally:]

I loved you. I would have died a thousand times over for you if that was what was needed. But never would I have expected my downfall would be at the hands of the person I cared for more than all of Solheim.

I'll acknowledge that you tried. And more than that I'll acknowledge that you wouldn't have had to if you'd not made the mistake in the first place.

[founderinglight]

[It's as though a tension holding him upright has been cut. Izunia sags, full-body, his fists loosening and his knees bending threateningly beneath him.

It is nothing like forgiveness or absolution. But, as already acknowledged, he doesn't deserve those.]

I'm sorry. For all that time you spent living with my mistakes, and all the time that my love didn't reach you, I am sorry.

[scourgingstars]

You're not about to hear an apology from me, even with all that I've done. The whole damned line, the Crystals, the Astrals--my only regret is not being able to burn it all down any sooner.

...I've been dead for far too long to care about any of it anymore.