Asch the Bloody (
bloodyashes) wrote in
lazybox2013-09-16 10:22 pm
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[Shadow Self meme-jack]
[Even those who know Asch and Luke well might get a bit confused seeing this redhead wandering around. The slightly darker hair is a clue, tied back in a loose ponytail, and the clothes are little better. That's not something Luke would wear, right?
And yet he doesn't carry himself like Asch at all; there's something gentle about this boy that the God-General lacks. Asch is a blade just under the water, waiting to strike those who don't pay enough attention. This boy is a gentle stream, quiet but steady, nearly impossible to dam up.
The boy who might have been Luke looks at you with bright yellow eyes and a gentle smile.]
And yet he doesn't carry himself like Asch at all; there's something gentle about this boy that the God-General lacks. Asch is a blade just under the water, waiting to strike those who don't pay enough attention. This boy is a gentle stream, quiet but steady, nearly impossible to dam up.
The boy who might have been Luke looks at you with bright yellow eyes and a gentle smile.]
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If she's being honest, she wonders for a moment if this is some alternate version of him - the way there was more than one Luke, more than one version of herself. But she can't quite shake the feeling that she knows him.]
...you're dressed up today.
[Well, if he says he doesn't know her, at least she can just claim it's a case of mistaken identity. That's easy enough to believe around here.]
repeatedly uses smiling icon
Well, what's wrong with that? It reminds me of home.
[And that might sound a little strange, because how often does he talk of home, especially with a smile in his face?]
sure is strange to see him smile
It's so different from what she's used to, but at the same time, this is undeniably Asch.] You don't usually act so... sentimental, I guess.
[She rubs at the back of her head a little sheepishly.] ...it looks good on you, and you seem happy. That's a good thing. [But there's something a little off. She needs more time to pinpoint what it is; knowing the Tower, if she just comes right out with her suspicions, it will end badly. She'll have to play nice until she figures out what's going on.]
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[There's something open, almost brazenly honest about the way he says it.]
And yet I couldn't stop. I was too afraid to return, to hurt to be myself, so I made something new. But I bought a hairbrush just like my mother's and sat every night to brush it, thinking of her.
[He reaches up, runs one hand through his ponytail slowly, separating the strands with his fingers.]
I grew it out because it was better to spend the time brushing it than crying.
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[He has always been honest with her, but this is something different. It's more raw, more emotional - the sort of thing that he would usually keep to himself. Even with as close as they've become in the Tower, she feels like it's something she has no business hearing. There's something seriously wrong here, and she's not sure he would even be telling her this if not for that.
But she can't leave him to dwell on the memories alone, painful as they are. She tentatively reaches over to rest her hand over his as he plays with his hair.]
You're the one who told me... "Don't ever forget, and don't ever give up, but you've got to let them go." Is that where you learned it?
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[The correction is gentle, but firm.]
I was always Luke, and I always will be, no matter how much charcoal you smear on it.
[And as for the question - he nods.]
I was never supposed to go back. Van always said that I would, someday, but I think it was just to keep me in line. Keep me hopeful. He never intended it to be true.
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[She says it gently, trying to keep herself calm, but there's something wrong here. Have the administrators done something to him? She looks up, looks into his eyes, and starts.
They're yellow. Not the usual bright green that she's grown so used to, but yellow. What on earth...?
If they've done something to him, she can't leave him in the thrall of whatever it is. She speaks carefully as she prepares the Mind Read Psynergy, but she doesn't try and look at his thoughts until she's finished speaking.]
I think there were a lot of things that Van never meant to be true. But ever since you broke free from him, you've forged your own truths and made bonds that he could never touch. That no one could ever touch.
[Falling silent, she casts Mind Read and attempts to see what he's thinking - she thinks that maybe he's trapped somewhere within his own mind, just able to speak this time, unlike the last time when she hadn't been herself either.]
tags this rly late
And I'm forever grateful for that. For you, and all the rest - I don't think I could trust myself to do the right thing, if you weren't around. You give me something to hold myself to.
[His expression sombers, a little, and he glances off to the side.]
Natalia would have done the same if I'd given her the chance, but she couldn't see me as anything but her fantasies of me. It hurt too much, being unable to live up to them. But you and the people here - you had no expectations of me.
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...he comes to an abrupt stop and glances to the side, eyes landing on the yellow-eyed (wait... yellow-eyed...?) Asch look-a-like. Green eyes narrow, as the replica's head tilts to the side. Actually, almost everything is a tad bit... off. The hair is different, clothes are definitely different, and he seems... Oh, Lorelei, did he just smile at that person...?
Okay, that's it. This is a dream--or a hallucination--or something.
Cautiously, he approaches the Asch imposter, eyes narrowed suspiciously.]
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Luke.
[A small nod of acknowledgement, and that, at least, is more Asch than anything else.]
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What's going on here? This is just... really weird.
Luke's expression tenses, his eyes narrowing even more suspiciously, before he manages to find his voice. He decides to just go with it, for now. Maybe any questions would be answered with a normal conversation..? After all, freaking out probably wouldn't help...]
You're in an awfully... good mood, today. Did something happen?
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I don't hate you, you know.
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He sighs and tilts his head.]
Okay... [He looks down.]
Where'd ...that come from?
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[That's... pretty logical, shadow!Asch. Probably going to get you more weird looks, though.
He turns away from Luke, so that they're facing the same direction, and keeps talking.]
I want to trust you. I want to give you the chance to try. But the you who was here before...
[His voice drops a little.]
I don't want to get hurt again. So it's just easier to push you away, the same way I did everyone else.
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In spite of it still being weird, Luke finds himself simply... feeling bad for his original. He closes his eyes for a couple of seconds, before opening them with a softened expression.]
I get it, but... [But this isn't like you!]
Where's all this actually coming from, all of a sudden? [He doesn't care if he's repeating himself. Answer the question, imposter!Asch.
That's the last time he's going to ask it, though. If it doesn't work this time, he's just going to drop it, for now.]
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[It's probably not the response Luke is looking for. There's a vehemence in it, though, that's the closest to the usual Asch, but there's an edge of desperation to it, too.]
I want to make a fresh start, but I don't deserve it. I want to wash away everything I've ever been. I want to go home and be welcome.
But that's Luke's place, and if I go there, I can't escape being Luke.
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But, Asch... [He looks down at the floor, speaking softly.] You do deserve it, though.
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[You thought you were the only one with Van Issues, Luke? At least you can admit to them.]
You think you deserve to be hated to Akzeriuth? You never intended for anyone to get hurt. I took lives and I gloried in it, and I did it all for him.
And even here I can't escape from it.
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He can't say that, though. Instead, he resorts to looking fairly surprised. Asch never seemed to have... Van problems. In fact, Asch always seemed so... composed, calm, ...level-headed. Sure, he's always had those anger issues.
Even with that, though, he always seemed like the more mature one. Luke had felt so... jealous, at one point. Now, he realizes, though...
Asch has always been just as messed up as he... still is, in many ways. Looking down, Luke lets out a soft 'heh'.]
So, what...then? Because you ...made some mistakes, you're just gonna sit around, and beat yourself up? You're gonna give up, without trying to think of a way to atone?
[He really... had not meant to let that slip out. Sighing, Luke scratches the back of his head. For once, he's the one looking annoyed.]
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[It's not said as a complaint, just a simple statement. There's a lot of simple statements, today.]
I try, but it feels a lot like rolling in place, sometimes. Dying wouldn't have been so bad.
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Just... stop it, already. You don't know what the hell you're saying, do you?
[He gives a hard stare to the floor, before finally releasing a sigh.]
I used to think that way, but... sometimes the answer's right there in your face. It's a matter of opening your damn eyes to see it.
superlate supeertag
[A small laugh, then, and that at least is very unlike Asch. He's smiling, gratefully, although it's not directed at Luke.]
You don't have to look so worried. I've already been talked out of following through on it.
[He turns his head to look at Luke, briefly, before going off to stare into space.]
Someone cared enough to want me to live. For myself, not what I could do for him. I can't shame him by ignoring it.
lol it's okay
Yeah, he's pretty sure there's no way this is even Asch...
His curiosity is piqued, though, on who the mentioned "him" is. When he speaks, it's in a more softened tone.]
Who?
just out of nowhere tags
[His expression turns more towards its usual kind of sour - his fists tighten at his sides.]
Someone I can't repay. Someone I didn't even have the courage to call friend.
[He sounds more like his usual self, there, although his voice is more regret than anger, instead of the reverse that might be expected.]
they're always fun!
Then, he attempts a smile.]
When someone really cares, ...they don't need you to repay them. People do things for those they care about, simply because they want to. Not so the other person will have to do something in return.
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[There's the sound of someone approaching in the distance.]
It's something other people get to experience. I've never been in a position where people didn't want something from me before.